Change of direction

Last Monday I was supposed to start the therapy program at our local hospital. On Sunday afternoon we decided that I am just not ready to do the 8-5, Mon-Fri deal yet. So, we came up with a weekly schedule and a list of goals for this month, and we'll try the therapy program next month. Overall the past week has been very enlightening. This is what I have discovered:

Paying attention is exhausting! Having to focus on something for very long really challenges me. I baked twice this week, and both times it completely wore me out. The mental energy it takes to follow a recipe properly, complete all the steps correctly, bake whatever you are making for the correct time, avoid burning yourself and spilling anything, and cleaning up the mess afterwards is amazing. I plan to keep baking and Ed is very happy about this! :)

Ed and my mother are wonderful coaches, but huge crutches. I must step out on my own more and not rely on them as much. They fill in the gaps for me in many situations. Sometimes it is necessary, sometimes it is out of habit. We must get out of the habit, and I must try to "fly" on my own.

When I'm out in public with Ed, I either hold his hand or walk a few steps behind him. I've wondered why I've been doing this, and I figured it out last night. When I'm walking a few steps behind him, I can look at his legs or feet and stay focused. When I'm by myself I have a list or a shopping cart to focus on. Having one thing to focus on helps me to tune out the surrounding noises, lights, and various other distractions. Strange, huh?

Don't change my plans in the middle of a mission. It sends me into a tailspin!!!! This morning I decided to drive a different way to church and it REALLY confused me! I've lived in and around our little town for almost 20 years and I almost got lost going to church just because I turned one light sooner than usual. Normally I could drive anywhere in this town with my eyes closed (so to speak) and not get lost. This town isn't big enough to get lost in! LOL!!!

I may never teach again. I must learn to be the new me, not try to be the old me. The old me may never come back again. Whoever God has in mind for me to be, I want to be the best me I can be. I don't like thinking about the fact that I may never teach English or Computer Science or anything ever again, but I have to accept that may be the path that God has for me.

And that about sums up my week. I've been driving a bit more, doing some projects around the house, and trying to get some more exercise. All in all I've had a good week. I hope to have more good weeks.