The Chaos that is My Life

I haven't posted anything for a few weeks because, quite frankly, I haven't been in the mood. I'm a firm believer in the old adage "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all." And I haven't had anything nice to say for the past few weeks. Today I'm breaking my own rule and I'm going to whine and rant and complain a bit. Please forgive me. And feel free to stop reading now if you don't want to hear about the chaos that is my life.

I've made one card in the past month, and it was a sympathy card. It's hard to get excited about stamping when you have a constant need to make sympathy cards. I have two more to make today. Here's the list of deaths from the past six weeks in a nutshell...

My grandmother died
My ex-father-in-law died
A long time member/greeter/usher in our church died
Bryan's uncle died
The father of one of my best friends died in a horrible accident earlier this week

Add to that Ed's grandmother's death just a month prior to my Granny's death and we have had funerals coming out of our ears! And of course on top of that we're dealing with a very rebellious, attitudinal, floundering young man who doesn't know how to deal with our constraints and expectations. And we don't know how to help him. And of course the fact that I've been very sick for the past two weeks with viral bronchitis and a sinus infection has just made life that much more fun!

Three of my best friends have dropped from my LOSTie sisters and I miss chatting with them immensely. I spend very little time chatting with the LOSTies now, mainly because I don't have much time to do so, but also because I miss seeing Kim, Amanda, and Mel online. I know they all have many things going on in their lives, and I wish them the very best.

I thought I was doing pretty good with the whole "head injury recovery" thing, but having Bryan here has been a real eye opener. I am not able to make snap decisions, deal with spur of the moment changes, stay on top of everything that needs to be done everyday, and so much more. I truly do not have the abilities that I used to, and it's been over two years (the supposed time it takes for a head injury to heal) since my injury. I may be stuck like this forever. I hate it.

So, yes, depression is an issue in our house at the moment. It's something I deal with on a daily basis anyway, but with all the death and family drama and estrangement of friends and illness it has really hit hard. Some days I just want to pack my bags and leave, but I know that's not the answer. Ed is my very best friend and I wouldn't want to be without him. I'll hang in there and know that this, too, shall pass.