The Tank's Empty

Yeh, I know. It's been forever since I've posted anything. And this seems to be a new trend. But there's a really good reason for it, and I have just now figured it out. I'm outta fuel. Empty. Pooped. Whurped, as my Granny would say.

I have finally managed to get out from under the little black rain cloud that followed me around for the past couple of months, which is a good thing, but I still don't have any interest in doing the things I used to like to do. I haven't watched Dancing With the Stars at all this season. I haven't watched NCIS in a couple of months. And, horror of horrors, I missed the last two episodes of LOST! Terrible, isn't it? I also don't stamp anymore. I've tried, but I just sit at my desk and stare at the stamps and paper that I pulled out to work with for awhile and finally just get up and leave it all for another day.

I think I have figured out the reason for this lack of interest - it is, in fact, not a lack of interest but a lack of energy. After my head injury I had no physical energy reserves, but after months of pushing on I finally overcame that (for the most part). Then there was the mental energy battle, which I mostly overcame. Now I'm battling the emotional energy battle. I have no reserves whatsoever, and it has only been since Bryan came to live with us that I have discovered this problem. Between dealing with teenage drama, work, housework, marital stuff, the zillion deaths in Jan/Feb, and the daily ins and outs and ups and downs of life, I'm just flat out of steam. There isn't any energy left for anything at the end of the day. My days off? I spend them in relative silence doing only those things that must be done and trying to squeeze in some extra rest. When I do have free time I read or spend way too much time on Facebook. Facebook requires little to no energy of any kind. I like that. :)

What I really need is about a week all by myself. No phone calls, no trips to the grocery store, no last minute emergencies, no one to pick up or drop off, no meals to fix, no laundry to wash, no house to clean. Just a week of absolute silence. Oh, that would be SO nice! I know, all wives and mothers would love even one day of solitude, but it's not going to happen is it? We can all dream, though.

One thing I have accomplished lately is reading. I have read a lot lately, and might actually manage to write up what I have read in April at some point in time this weekend. Maybe. If I survive getting Bryan ready for Prom tomorrow night...........